Lordy, I hope I spelled that right.
But in any case, this post isn’t aimed at any one person, because I get guff about on this subject from a lot of different people, in a lot of different ways. All of it’s well meaning, but it’s getting tiresome. I’m done with Graphic Design. No, for reals, I am. There’s only one person on earth I’ve not met some obligations to in that respect, but anything new ain’t going down. I don’t even like doing it anymore. Prior to 2012, I was working at it on my nights and weekends, because it was a means to an end. That end has since proved to be a butterfly chase. So why continue? Seriously, that shit isn’t fun. And the creative pay off is next to nothing. So if I’m not eating market rate money (which I simply can’t command, based on my experience) what’s the point? If someone has an answer to that, feel free to let me know. Don’t say because it was my “dream” or “passion”, because it wasn’t. And I’m totally serious about that. It was a camel to get to the oasis of Financial Solvency. So I could live comfortable while pursing the things that matter most to be in the long term. The problem is that Graphic Design turned out to be a lame camel, and the map to my destination was out of date. So I got a new camel. One that’s already outpacing the old one. I won’t deny that the last one was more fun to ride, but that’s of no consequence if it’s taking me the wrong way.
There I said it. So no to people sucks, as are awkward exchanges wit folk who don’t like or believe what I’m saying. But it’s my truth, and I won’t change that tune in order to people please. You’ve got your folks mixed up if you think that about me.
What’s also become glaring apparent is that people in my life don’t seem to draw any distinctions between graphic design, and my simply being creative within my own ideas. Those things are not the same. My own ideas are simply on pause, on account of old obligations that I’m struggling to finish. I’m not someone who can stay up until umpteen o’clock sketching logos, laying out pages, or digging through code anymore. And the sooner I get those this off my plate, the sooner I can put that time into my own drawings, painting, ideas, and what have you. I can’t do both, but I can live with not having the cool factor of being a “designer” just fine, since it’s not paying the goddamn bills.
Alight, I think I’m done ranting, and oddly enough, I’m feeling rather inspired. Hopefully I can find my way into getting a pencil to some paper before Monday. That’s the goal I’m setting for the short term. Just getting a new drawing done over the weekend. And then build from there.